Being a long distant Auntie (part one) My Niece Emily






When I moved to Florida one of the hardest things about doing that, beside leaving my beautiful apt. just a 1/4 mile from the beach, was leaving my little niece and nephew. My sister Sherry's son, Jimmy was just 4 and my brother Mike's daughter, Emily, was just 9. I was close to both kids, seeing them often. I didn't want them growing up without me.

So I send them cards, often with a "surprise" inside so I could bribe them into still loving me and not forgetting who I am. 

And then there's Facebook. What a great way to stay in touch. Both my niece and nephew have profiles so I can spy on them, oh I mean, keep up with their lives and see recent pictures.

Let me tell you about my niece Emily. She was not a fun baby, at first anyway.  She came out screaming her head off and she pretty much did that for the first 3 months of her life.
When her folks needed Connie and I to babysit,
we'd let the answering machine pick up

and pretend not to be home. Not really, we wanted to be with her, but man could she scream. Then one day that stopped and she was the best baby in the world. Always laughing and happy, fun to be with and she loved having her aunties visit.

When she learned to talk, she would say the funniest things. Her first word was 'pie' and when she learned to say more, you could ask her how much pie she wanted and she'd say, "just a smidge."

When she was about 5 we were all at my folks visiting and she  stayed in a room with Connie and I. After the lights were out and we were ready to fall a sleep, she says, "I hope there's a decent place to buy a donut in this town."

She was always cracking us up. She still does. She has a good sense of humor along with many other wonderful qualities. Right now she is attending Vanguard Univ in So Calif. She was asked to participate in a summer physics program. Few are chosen for this honor, but she has been getting straight A's her whole life, so it's not really a surprise.

 She is going into forensic science, you know, CSI. We often wonder who she takes after. What we really think is aliens dropped her off, or maybe there was a mix up at the hospital, it's just hard to believe she is really related to any of us. Anyway, we are very glad she is in our family, however she got here. She will be a senior this fall, and the first in my family, and her moms, to graduate from college. She is smart, beautiful, (of course we know who she gets that from  =} ). She is lots of fun and she can sing! Best of all she loves the Lord. She's a great kid, well woman now, and has never given her parents,or Aunties, a moment of worry. I love you Emily and am very proud of you!




Emily and her BFF Megan

 



Emily rooting for the Patriots
(Well I didn't say she was perfect.)

 


Emily as Judy Jetson and Megan as Penny from Toy Story



Emily on the Red Capet with Nicole Kidman
(We're so proud!)

Getting her hand prints on The Walk Of Fame
(I hate to brag)



Her role in Spider-Man
(Isn't she amazing!)



Here she is as Daphne in Scooby Dooby Doo
(So talented)

 

The only man her dad would let her date

 


Sorry daddy but she has found a real man
Emily with boyfriend Taylor

 

The Fam. Mom Traci, Emily, and Dad (my brother) Mike

My Sister Sherry

My sister Sherry and her son Jimmy

Besides Connie, I have a younger sister named Sherry. Sherry doesn't fall a lot or say things backward, but she does occasionally wet her pants. Oh and she did fall crossing a street once in Barstow. She twisted her ankle and her friend, Chris, ran and got an office chair on wheels and pushed her back to her office. I'm sure that was entertaining for someone.

Unlike Connie who is 10 years older than me, Sherry and I are only 2 years apart so we grew up together. I should say we blew up together, because all we did was fight. My poor mom, we couldn't get along for 2 mins. My brother Tim and I fought all the time too, but when I got into high school, he and I got very close, but not Sherry and I.  We fought right through to our adult years. I called her the sister from hell, the wild cat. She would get so mad and just go berserk when we were kids. Coming at me, fists flying. We were all scared of her. She took no guff and you never knew what would set her off.

When I moved out of the house to Huntington Beach, and in with Connie,  Sherry would come for 'vacations'.  Every time she said she was coming, Connie and would look at each other in terror and look up the fastest flight out of the country.  =}

Sherry had been a 'towhead' from birth. Super white hair that everyone noticed. I was the mousey brown haired girl no one saw. Everywhere we went people commented on Sherry white hair. No one ever said anything about me. One Christmas my mom gave us new dolls, she gave me one with white hair and Sherry one with brown hair. She said I never played with mine. One day she said, "You don't like you new doll do you?" I said, "It has hair like Sherry." She said that was the first time she knew I had a problem with Sherry getting so much attention. So she switched the dolls and I was fine. (I remember the dolls well, but not the part of my being upset over getting one with white hair.)

As we got older her hair darkened and no one said anything about it anymore, but a strange thing began to happen. Everywhere we went people asked if we were twins. Sherry was a bean poll, very thin. I was thin but not like her, she was a good 3ins taller then me and she was blond! What were people seeing that they thought we were twins?

Then one day Sherry got married,  and aliens came down and sucked out her old personality and she got a new one. She was changed, ... over night. Gone was the over sensitive sister from hell. She became, ... our mom. She was so, ... nice! Who knew? If I had known marriage would do this for her, I'd have married her off in the 2nd grade.

Sherry and Jimmy on one of their visits to Florida (do we look like twins!) Oh and you also have to imagine us 20lbs lighter as we have all been on Weight Watchers. (Not bean polls anymore ={ )

Now we were close. We talked, we got along, we were friends.  Sadly it was now her walking on egg shells. Her husband was not easy to live with. The marriage lasted 12years. Then he found a new women and well, that was that. But she got one really great thing from the marriage, and little boy named Jimmy. Not so little now, but he was so sweet and so cute as a little guy. (He's cute as a big guy too, and a great kid)

Jimmy all grown up

Divorce stinks, but Sherry had great friends and they got her through it. Soon after that, Sherry woke up one day in terrible pain. The Dr. said she had 3 masses in her abdomen. It was ovarian cancer. Not what we wanted to hear. But God is good.

With the help of a wonderful friend named Chris and her church family, and her brothers (Connie and I were in Florida so had to stay in touch long distant) she came through it. She was prone to infections and it was a long hard fight, but finally she was doing well. But it came back. 3 times she has batteled this disease and 3 times SHE has won.

I must say she is a real trooper. Very little complaining. No pity parties, I know the Lord got her throught it and her good friend, Chris. Thank God for Chris. I don't know what we would have done without her. She was so great. Always at Sherry's side. Her husband was so generous with her, allowing her to even spend nights near the hospital so she could be there to talk to the Drs early in the mornings when they made their rounds. She was amazing. Thank you Chris.

Sherry's good friend Chris (with her grandbaby)

This last time with lots of prayer for no infections and quick healing, she did super well. Treatment is done once again and she just had a CAT-scan and is cancer free. Thank you Lord!

We are praying it is gone for good this time. I have her on prayer lists all the time, (Facebook has lots of them) lots of friends and family are praying too. Her son is a real prayer warroir, in fact he has been asked to attend the International House of Prayer this summer. We are very proud of him. This time I will believe the cancer is gone, killed off, annihilated. Will you pray that too?

Sherry is very involved in her church. She took up where mom left off, taking on lots of jobs and doing great in each of them. She's a good mom, a great friend and a wonderful sister. I'm very proud of her.

Sherry hopes to move to Florida one day, and this time we won't be looking for the fastest flight out of the country. It will be good to have her near us. Jimmy says he'll move too. It will be great to have him close, to get to know him better. He was just 5 when we moved to Florida and we have miss so much of his life. When you are a World Champion Auntie it is very hard to be so far from neices and nephews.

Sherry is in my books too. Shes a little squirrel, though I should have made her a bulldog with all the fight that is in her. I didn't tell my family I was writing a book. When the first one was published, I just mailed them a copy. They were shocked. They all received them the same day and I got 3 phone calls, (my 2 brothers and Sherry) one after another. I had caught a bad cold and had lost my voice, so could only talk a bit, but they were so excited for me and very proud. (I hadn't put my brother Mike in the book and he was a bit disappointed in that, so had to put him in the next one.)

Being part of a family has its hard moments, but also great reward. I'm so glad I have my 2 sisters with me still. Sherry will celebrate her 52nd birthday in August. (she'll probably kill me for telling you that) Oh no! I better look out for her flying fist of fury.  =}

Connie Can Even Make Chemo Funny.




Connie blowing out her candles last year (June 12th 2010)

Eight years ago Connie was diagnosed with breast cancer. She found a lump and was scared to death, but I kept telling her, "it's nothing." She always thinks she has cancer. I got used to statements like, "I have a headache, I know it's a brain tumor." "My elbow aches, it's bone cancer!" "I have black spots in front of my eyes! I have eye cancer!" After years of hearing this, I found it hard to take it seriously, after all she had had

breast cancer at least 106 times.

 But this time it was for real.

It's a terrifing feeling when someone you are close to gets a life threatening illness. I did a lot of praying, begging really.

You wouldn't think you'd find anything funny about cancer, but with Connie the possibility of a good story is never far away.

Of course, after surgery, chemotherapy was ordered and when she started to lose her hair, it fell out in clumps. Our good friend, Linda McMillian, thought it best to shave her head. It's rather tramatic to lose your hair, but even then we could find humor. Linda bought a bunch of skull caps and all of finance, and other friends at the office, put them on and met her at the entrance the day after her hair was gone. Two of the men even shaved their heads so she wouldn't feel alone. (She is well love at the office. The day of her surgery, depts. all over our office stopped work at the time of the surgery and gathered in groups to pray.)

As you go through chemotherapy, it changes. They use different drugs at different times. One day the nurse told her one of the new drugs would turn her 'urine orange'. Connie thought she said it would turn her 'earrings orange', so she says, "It will turn my earrings orange! Should I take them off? And what about my watch, should I take that off too?" Our good friend Jane was with her and laughed her head off. She told us about it later, so for her birthday, which was just days away, everyone gave her a pair of orange earrings.



Connie and our friend Larry modeling chemo caps

Connie wore hats when she first lost her hair, a co-worker made her chemo caps. Fun, fuzzy, colorful hats. Connie loved them and wore them in the evenings because her head was always cold. But for work she decided to get a wig. We went to a wig shop and the sales lady was very helpful. She fited her with a very nice, natural looking wig.  It looked good on her and she loved it - it made it so fast to get ready in the morning. No  more fussing with her hair, just pull your wig on and you're ready. Even after her hair grew back, she thought about sticking with the wig.

Connie in her new wig

Larry in Connie's wig   =}

Connie always kept her head covered up. I'm not sure I ever saw her  little bald head until... the accident.

One day on our way home from church, we were sitting at a red light when WHAM!!! we are hit very hard from behind. It was such a shock. I couldn't figure out what had happened. We flew forward, legs flying up hitting the dash, then back. My seat flew back as far as it would go, then sprung. It felt like I was sitting on the floor. A sports car had rear-ended us.

Thank the Lord it was a small car, or we would have been in the hospital or worse. (We only got a bit sore and huge bruises were our legs hit the dash, and from the seatbelt)  There were 3 SUV's in front of me. Being squished between 4 cars caused my car to bend, a huge crease appeared right down the middle of the roof. It was totalled. (but amazingly, still driveable)

After we made sure we were Ok and in one piece, I soon realized my vision wasn't right. My glasses had flown off from the impact. As I searched for them, I finally really looked at Connie and with my fuzzy vision I could see her little bald head. Her wig had flown off just like my glasses. She starts to get out of the car and I said, "Your wig came off!" She said something to me, I never knew what, as I was so shocked she was getting out of the car like that. She just shut the car door and went to talk to the guy who hit us. I'm thinking, I cannot believe she is going out there without her wig. She must  be really mad!  She wouldn't even let me see her without it.

There she was (so brave), talking to everyone, the guy who hit us, the guys we hit, and the policeman who came. Even people driving by. A big church was getting out right where we were  hit and a ton of cars were going by. We knew some of the people and Connie is waving. I'm thinking, "I cannot believe she is doing this without her wig!" She just had these little wispy hairs sticking up, blowing in the wind. It was so sad.

After all the talking was done, we stood in the medium waiting for the policeman to give us his report, and I say to her, again, "You do know that you don't have your wig on, right?" Apparently not from the look on her face. She put both hands on her head, her eyes bugged out, her mouth flew open, "Oh no!" She runs to the car and franticly looks for the wig. (I guess when I told her the first time she was in shock so didn't even hear me.) We found her wig  in the back seat along with my glasses. (I said if anyone had been sitting there, they'd be wearing my glasses and her wig.=) She grabs up the wig and jams it down on her head, she can't believe she has gone wigless in front of all those people. I can't believe she didn't know. Couldn't she feel the wind blowing those wispy little hairs around?

Since my car was driveable, I drove it home and we are laughed our heads off over the wig or lack of it. Connie is like my mom. She always laughs at her own crazy antics. I thought about it for months. I would just suddenly start to laugh and Connie would say, "You're thinking about the wig again aren't you?"

Connie has been cancer free for 5 years. When asked if she'd ever what to go through it again, she always say no, (of course) but she was glad she had cancer. It showed her how much God really loved her. He did something speical for her everyday to show her how much He cared and she grew so much during that time. And she has since done a few things she had been afraid to do before, like travel out of the country. Once you've faced the possiblily of death, nothing else seems that scary.

Her hair grew back a long time ago, it's darker now, all the gray is gone. That is often a side benefit of chemo, (besides it killing the cancer and all ) I don't think its fair. She is 10yrs older then me and I am totally gray. At 64, she should have tons of gray. But since she's had cancer, I'll let it pass.

I'm so thankful my sister is still here and will be 64. That's sound old, but it's really not. Haven't you heard, 60 is the new 50. She still looks great and  is still pretty spry, (when upright). No one would ever guess her age, (so act surprised if she tells you).

In my Super Pig books she is Connie Collie, it's a good choice. She's a faithful and loyal friend, a great big sister and she fetches really well.  Just kidding. I am thinking of keeping her on a leash though, she fell again this week. She was out walking in our neighborhood. (Thank goodness none of our neightbors saw her, I'd have to wear a bag over my head when with her), but a man driving by stopped to see if she was OK. She said she was used to falling and was fine. She has a swollen, badly bruised knee, is very sore, but no teeth were knocked out.

I do hope she lives to see 65. 

This is Connie and I with our nephew Jimmy. You can see how dark her hair is compared to mine.

Is this fair?  (She is even smirking about it).

More about Connie

This is how Connie feels about getting another year older. =}

Since this is Connie's birthday month, (her bday is the 12th) I wanted to tell some funny stories about her. Well more funny stories about her, there are so many to choose from.

Besides the habit of falling, Connie has another curious habit. She says things backwards or transposed, meaning she either swiches the first letters of two words that go together, like for instance, eggs and bacon would be beggs and acon, or she says them in the wrong order like Taco Bell is always Bell Taco.

I'm not sure when this started. I don't remember her doing it as a kid. The falling I remember. The falling could be hereditery as my mom fell a lot too.  But I don't ever remember Mom gettting her words mix up like Connie does, so I think this is just her own little thing. She calls it Spoonerism, though I don't really know if that's what it's called, or if it is even a word, but she insists it is and I think she was just thrilled to learn her disorder had a name. (I have learned since posting this that there is indeed something called "Spoonerism" and from the definition, it's sounds like Connie does suffer from it.=)

Here are a few examples that I remember, (there have been so many, I should start writing them down). We were driving down the road and we saw a bill board advertising the new Star Wars movie. My little neice Emily, well she was little at the time, was with us and  Connie says to her, "That looks scary, especially that Vath Darter." meaning, of course, Darth Vader. Emily says, "Yeah." My sister in law, who was driving, was laughing so hard we almost had an accident.

One summer we went to Colorado to visit our good friends the Neiswenders. Jane was graduating from Seminary with a degree in counseling so we were there to see her graduate. Her family gave her a party and one of her gifts was Pumba, from the movie Lion King. When Connie saw it she said, "Oh it's a wag hort!" meaning - wart hog. We all fell on the ground laughing. When we told the story to a friend, he said, "What is it supposed to be?"  Connie says, "Hort Wag." I, of course, lost it.

See if you can figure out what she is trying to say in this one.One day we took a friend home from work. I work for Wycliffe, a missionary organization, and our friend was a very proper missionary girl. Connie was saying how she didn't know if we would be able to go walking that evening because I was having trouble with "splin shits".

How about this one, the other day she told me she was in a meeting and "Small Pith" was there via tela-conference. (Paul Smith)

We worked with a man named Larry Perry. Connie lived in fear of calling him Perry Larry.

One day I was watching a TV show, one of those survival shows, I think it was call, "I Shouldn't Be Alive." (I should tell them about Connie). Anyway this guy had just fallen and gotten these huge thorns in his hands.Connie came in as he was running through trees, trying to get help for his friend, pulling these throns out of his hand. Connie says, "Are those stee bings? I mean stee bings. No, I mean stee bings." Can you guess what she is trying to say? At this point I am on the ground and I don't care what she means, though I know what she is trying to say. I have developed an ability to understand her transposed talk after so many years. (It's "bee stings")

Many times after she tells our friends something, they all look at me for the translation.

She also tells jokes wrong and gets saying and slogans mixed up.  She is always saying, "He'll get his up comings."  "Bedside manner" is "sidebed manner". One day we were talking about Timex watches. Connie says, "Yeah, they take a beating and keep on licking." The slogan is "Takes a licking and keeps on ticking."

Life is rarely dull around here.

My Mom, Betty Jean. What a Hoot!

My mom was a great lady. She was a wonderful Christian and really fun. She had a great sense of humor, a great heart and all us kids adored her.

Mom was well loved by everyone in her little town. I found that out when I was in Hinkley taking care of her once when she was sick. I think every person in the town called to see how she was doing. They all told me how wonderful she was and all the things she had done for them. I had always thought my mom was special, but I learned just how special she was that week.

Mom was gone before I wrote my books, but I know she would have loved them. I think Super Pig is a lot like Mom. Always ready to lend a helping hand, a loyal friend, full of simple wisdom.

Mom could be extremely funny too. She did hilarious things, without meaning to. She fell a lot, so we could excuse Connie by saying it is hereditary, but Mom also had another problem. After having 5 children she had a bit of a bladder control issue. Every time she laughed she wet her pants. (thank heavens, Connie didn't inherit that.)

This type if problem could be terrifying for her children. We kids would have a nervous break down in church, or anywhere, when something hit mom as funny. We would hold our breath and pray, "Please don't let mom wet her pants!"

Our little church in Hinkley supported missionaries in Nepal. One day they wrote us a letter and the pastor read it from the pulpit. They told us about their Nepalese friend they called "KaKa" which means "uncle" in Nepalese, but it means something else in America. For some reason this hit my mom as extremely funny. She giggled and giggled over it, which was very surprising because Mom always acted very proper in church, well most of the time anyway.  I was sweating bullets, trying not to laugh at all, so afraid she'd have an accident and we'd have to sneak out of church, probably while the last song was being sung . Thank heavens nothing happened, that time.

Mom had always been very thin in her younger years, but after all us kids and the passing of time, she began putting on weight. One day she decided  to join Weight Watchers. She did very well. She stuck to the program and lost a lot of weight. I was very proud of her. Though mom lost a lot of weight, she didn't go out and buy new clothes.

In those days it was very common for women to wear house dresses. They were just sleeveless shifts rather shapeless, but cool and comfortable on the desert. That's all I ever saw my mom wear as a kid. I never saw her wear pants or shorts, only dresses and of course nice dresses for church.  After losing the weight, Mom  felt the house dresses still looked okay and there was no money for new clothes anyway.

Since money was in short supply, you didn't go out and buy new clothes, and you certainly didn't waste it on silly things like, well new underwear for instance. Even if the ones you are now wearing are 3 sizes too big.

One day when I was about 13, I went grocery shopping with Mom. She wore one of her house dresses and her 3x too big underwear. As she was wheeling the cart around the grocery store, she had to stop often to adjust her much too large undergarment. After about the 10th adjustment, I made a fatal mistake. I started laughing. It was just so funny to watch her keep pulling up her undies. She kept saying, "These darn underwear!"  So I lost it. The bad news is, mom lost it too. We both got to laughing so hard, and I guess you know what happened....Mom wet her pants.

So here we are in the soda pop aisle and Mom is standing in a rather large puddle. She looks at me and says, "Lets get out of here!" So we fled leaving the soda aisle and puddle far behind, (I hoped they'd think a bottle of Mountain Dew had exploded.) but we didn't leave the store. We had driven 12 miles from Hinkley to the big town of Barstow to do our shopping and we couldn't just leave, we had to finish.

Now Mom had two problems. She was wet and her undies were so heavy she couldn't keep them up without holding on to them. She says to me, "You push the cart and I'll keep my hands in my pockets and hold up my underwear." It was so hard to control my laughter, but I had too. I couldn't risk mom laughing again.

So I pushed the cart and Mom held up her pants. I'm following her around the store, when I see something rather odd. Something hanging out from under her dress. I realized, much to my horror, that it's her underwear. They are now so droopy, they are hanging rather low.

 Now it's not funny. I am a teenager about to be totally humiliated by my mother. I break out in a cold sweat and feel sick to my stomach. I say, quietly yet with emotion, "Mom! Your underwear are hanging out from under your dress!" She says, "Oh, are they?" She goes behind an end cap and gives her undies a might tug, pulling her dress almost up to her waist in the process, trying to adjust her.. situation.

I am dying now. I don't even remember what happened after that, I think I may have blacked out. I just remember being in the check out lane. My sense of humor has now returned and I want to laugh again. Mom tells me to go wait in the car. (She told me later the whole time she waited in line, pee was dripping in her shoe. I'm so glad I had to wait in the car.)

I don't know how she managed to push the cart to the car and hold things together, (and I didn't ask), but she soon appeared at the drivers side door. She got in the car, took off her undies, wrapped them in newspaper and put them in the trunk.

On the way home, she had to pull the car over, we were laughing so hard.

I'm glad I had such a funny mom, one who did such crazy things, and could laugh at herself. She never seemed to get upset about her crazy antics, she just always laughed. Super Pig would have loved her. I miss her.

Mom and Dad married 53 years